going through the motions

One of my biggest fears is living life day by day. I am afraid of falling into a meaningless routine and not working toward my life goals. I admit I have lived out this fear. There have been days where I think, "What is my purpose? Why am I doing these pointless tasks?" as I do homework, study for a test, or even absentmindedly watch YouTube videos on my bed. I compare myself to others who are more motivated and accomplished than me. When I witness what they are doing, I feel like the work that I am doing is worthless. But I have to remember that it's unhealthy to compare myself or envy others. Everyone is at different stages, working toward different goals. Every little thing that I do contributes toward the big picture. Even if I think that a task I am doing is menial, it's not. Each step taken, no matter how big or small, will end up contributing toward my unique purpose.

j.j.

[i'm happy that i decided to stay.]

changing pace

Throughout my entire Blogger journey from 2013 until now, 2018, I have gone through many thought processes about changing my blog for the better. No matter what it is, I am always thinking about ways to change my work for the better. I have reconstructed my blog, made a new blog, deleted that one, came back to this blog, and took many breaks. Many, many breaks. But my intention has always been the same. To make my writing better. To increase my communication skills. To make new connections with people that I would otherwise not have been able to make. Looking into this new year (let's say that January was a trial month), I will continue to make improvements to my blog. The most important aspect of blogging is, well, blogging. No matter how many new designs, sponsored posts, or followers one has, the reason that people create a blog is to write. And that is what I will continue to do. Write.

celebrate small victories

One thing that I've learned about myself is that I have periods of overworking myself and then (longer) periods of pure laziness. And it's quite an issue because it would be better if I could balance the two. It's still in the works. But a way to get myself to do something productive—even for a short period of time—is to treat myself occasionally. Especially if you have a mindset like me, where you think that it's bad that nothing productive is getting done, which only promotes more slumps. But even if you get something accomplished and it has been more than what you've been doing usually, then it is a small victory. It's not a bad thing to pat yourself on the back once in a while. In fact, just the right amount of self-appreciation can boost your confidence and work ethic. However, there can also be a negative side to treating yourself, don't get me wrong. It is definitely possible to treat yourself too much, which produces even more laziness and self-deprecation. But there can be trial and error as long as you find the perfect amount of self-care in terms of work ethic. If you are struggling with productivity as well, I wish the best of luck to you. You can do it.

j.j.