temporary happiness

In life, there is an abundance of happiness. Many people think that happiness occurs on special occasions, such as birthday parties or graduation. And sure, happiness does happen! But these events only bring "temporary happiness;" a slight glimpse of happiness that doesn't stay for long. In order for true, permanent happiness to arrive, one has to search for it. One can go through their entire lives feeding off of a temporary sense of happiness and believe that it's true happiness. And I suppose there is nothing wrong with that, but personally, I cannot live in that fashion. I cannot live my years in a way that doesn't give me long term happiness. After celebrations such as get-togethers or a day of shopping, I sometimes catch myself having this dull, empty feeling. Of course I'm happy. But I know that these are all distractions to what I really need in life. To find what makes every single day of my life worth living. Sure, there will still be days that other emotions are felt, such as sadness or anger, but instead of using a temporary form of distraction to push these emotions aside, I think that "permanent happiness" will be able to make one's mind clearer in dealing with these problems. It will hopefully make me more rational, such as using positive ways to cope with mine and other's issues and shed a sense of happiness on other people who are on this journey too. It's a hard thing to achieve, and there is no blame on anyone if they aren't able to find their niche, but then again, true and eternal happiness is a feeling that needs to be sought out. It's the same concept as many things in life; If you want something, go and get it. I really hope that one day, I will find whatever it is that makes me permanently happy.

j.j.

2016: glass half full

With 2016 almost coming to an end, the majority might look back on this year with looks of grief and anger. And although there are definitely events that have happened that are unfortunate, the good things that happened should also not be forgotten. Here is my list of good things that have happened to me personally in the eventful year of 2016.

-Truly understanding the concept of friendship: Both with making new friends and becoming closer with older ones, I am really, really grateful for everyone that I consider my close friends. Through my three years of high school so far, I have had fluctuating friendships but this year, I think I have truly found the people that I am closest to. It honestly is better to have a few very close friends than a huge group of semi-close friends.

-Restarting this blog: Blogging is such a creative outlet for me and I knew that I needed to start fresh. It is a way for me to unleash my thoughts on anything that I want to talk about and helps me practice my writing. I am ever grateful for the opportunity to blog and I see myself continuing for a very long time.

-Advancing ideas on my future: Especially last year, I really started to question what I wanted to do with my life in the future. For the three years that I have attended high school, I was always set on majoring in psychology in the future. But now, I think that I want to go into communications. I am not sure what exact area, but I hope to figure that out soon. I have also narrowed down my college choices, but that is still a work in progress.

-What the greatest form of motivation is: I have tried reading motivational quotes but the only person that can actually motivate you is you. It just takes a lot of willpower to think to yourself, "I will do this thing!" But if you train yourself long enough, gradually, the motivation will come. (I'm still in the beginning stage.)

-Learning how to drive/getting my driver's license: This may seem like such a small thing, but I am very happy that I can drive. It allows me to go home without having to inconvenience my parents, and it is a valuable life lesson because it tests your patience on the road and that patience can then be transferred to everyday life.

-Realizing that not everyone likes you: I am one of those people that cares about what other people think about me. It's a bad thing, I suppose because you shouldn't have to worry about other people's opinions. I want to learn how to build a shield from that because if someone says something that is hurtful to me or about me, I think about it for the entire day. It pains me that I have left a negative impact on someone else and I try my hardest to make it up to them. But I have realized, even if someone says something bad about you, I don't have to change for them. I don't have to prove to them that I am the opposite of the bad thing they've said about me. Because I'm not. I'm me and if someone doesn't respect or like me, then it is their problem. Not mine.

2016 may be an unpopular opinion, but I would like to cherish and focus on the good parts instead of the bad. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

j.j.

change

It's really funny watching people grow up and change. Some people might have more subtle differences, while others might have more drastic ones. And not just with appearances, but with how they act, or how their relationships with various people change. I was best friends with someone for a good portion of my life. Now, I'd like to say that we are still friends, but we both have our own paths to lead. I was feeling a bit nostalgic and ended up thinking back to the times when we were, in fact, best friends, and to be honest, I think every single change that happens in someone's life occurs for a reason. We were best friends for a reason. And now we are just friends for a reason. Change happens so fast that it's not until you catch yourself looking back on old ways years later that you realize the drastic differences. Personally, I know that I have changed quite a bit. Heck, a big change for me was starting over with this blog. And another big change, even bigger than this one, was starting my blog in the first place. The person I was best friends with in the past introduced me to the world of blogging, and I will forever be grateful for that fact. They introduced me to and reinforced a lot of things that are now my hobbies and passions. Without them, without all of my changes, I would certainly not be the person I am today. Or maybe I would be the person I am today, but a slightly different version of myself. Even so, I think that change is something that should be embraced. Whether we like change or not, the truth is that such changes are inevitable.

j.j.

drifting apart?

When I wasn't in high school, I used to hear the saying that some friends naturally drift apart. At the time, I was in disbelief. I thought that I would always have my group of friends forever. But as I grew older, it became more evident that that wouldn't be the case.

And I'm okay with it.

Younger me would be horrified. I probably would have said something along the lines of, "How can you be okay with the fact that your friends won't be as close to you as they were before?" Me today would have responded with, "Because I have found the true friends that will always stick by my side. People change, and that is okay. Everyone will find their true friends and it takes a process of trial and error to do so. It is much better to have a few friends that you can always trust and feel natural and comfortable around rather than a lot of friends that make you feel hesitant about saying things or that don't really know you as well."

It is also not to say that when friends drift apart, they never talk again. Maybe in the future, I will reconnect with friends that might have drifted apart in the past and catch up. We may not be the best of friends, but I know that I will still have them in my life.

j.j.

positive outcomes

(When you think of a really good blog post idea in math class and decide to jot it down in the corner of your notebook but afterward coming back to it and not being able to read your own handwriting...#BloggerStruggles)

From experience, I know that by being positive about something, the outcome will always leave you happier than if you were to be negative about something. Recently, I've encountered experiences where I have felt annoyed or upset. Even though I am no expert at always being happy, I know that by changing your mindset, you will be happier. And if not happier, at least you will be able to appreciate the situation more and understand points of view a little bit better. Nobody in this world is perfect. But if we all decide to put in an effort to catch ourselves in the act of being negative about something and doing something positive instead, the world would be a much nicer place. It would be a step in the right direction, at least. Now I'm not saying that everyone has to be happy-go-lucky all the time. That is definitely not the case. There are times where it is okay to be sad or angry. Take a funeral for example. You definitely don't want to all of a sudden be randomly laughing at a funeral. But besides mourning, think of the good memories that have been shared and remember those moments more than the last breath. Bring a positive light to any situation and it will allow you to take fewer things for granted and more things to appreciate and cherish.

j.j.

[inspired: two English assignments; a quote from Ecclesiastes and the speech This Is Water by David Foster Wallace]

your true calling

Recently, I've been thinking about a concept. A teacher of mine asked us to raise our hands if we find ourselves working harder at the things we enjoy doing. Pretty much everyone raised their hands. I think this is such an important thing to talk about because many people still don't know the difference between loving something and doing it because it benefits you in ways that don't fulfill your happiness. Especially now that I'm officially a junior (eek), it's time for me to start thinking about what I want to major in. There are so many articles out there (I know, because I've read them) that have headlines such as "TOP TEN HIGHEST PAYING JOBS IN 2016." For a while, you're caught up in this overly competitive world where people are comparing their salaries and in doing so they've lost the most important thing in life: happiness. Don't worry, I've been there. We all have. But it's time to take a step back. Close all your tabs that have lists of high paying majors and surveys that will grant you easy money. Close your eyes and think. What do you love doing? Not things you do because your friend does them. Not things you do because it will look good on your college resume. Especially not things you do because "I'm going to study law and become a successful lawyer because my parents are making me become one but it's okay I guess because at least I'll make a lot of money." (Nothing against those studying law or are lawyers. It was just an example.) Really think about the things that you have a passion for. Respond to the constant voice in the back of your mind yelling the occupation that you know you would be excited to do every single day for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter what the starting salary is, or if you have to struggle in the beginning. If you choose the thing that you love doing, none of that will matter. You will succeed.

j.j.

introversion-extroversion

Hey there, my name is Jenny and I'm an introvert.

Not many people introduce themselves that way. At least, nobody that I know. But there seems to be an unspoken boundary of introversion-extroversion. If you're an introvert, you'll most likely be seen at the edge of a party, striking up a deep and meaningful conversation with someone who you find close to. If you're an extrovert, look no further than to the huge clump of people, laughing wildly and exchanging small talk. (I hate small talk.) You may feel no inclination to change your behaviors. You're comfortable with being inside your own shell. And I get that. I don't take huge risks, but that also means that I don't often allow myself to experience things in life that maybe I'll find to be my favorite thing to do or least favorite thing to do. I think it's healthy for everyone to take at least one small step toward the other side of the spectrum. If you're an introvert, try something that an extrovert would do. Host a party. Talk to the stranger that you're sitting next to on the bus. Share your ideas verbally more often. And if you're an extrovert, walk in the shoes of an introvert for a short time. Read a book. Journal your thoughts. Go for a long, quiet walk in the woods. See how the experience goes for you. Maybe you'll find a new favorite hobby, meet some people that you wouldn't have otherwise met, or maybe you'll just go back to your respective corners and continue living life the way you always have. Either way, let us all be aware of the fact that most introverts would like to have their space and most extroverts would like to lessen their space.

j.j.

[inspired: Quiet by Susan Cain]

Continuing the Journey

I don't particularly like the term "relaunch". It sounds like I failed the first launch of my blog and now I'm doing a second attempt. But I didn't fail the first launch. I grew from it. I learned from my old writing, no matter how cringe-worthy it was (and will still be). You may have come across the saying that change is inevitable. And it is. So here I am, about five (?) years later. I survived the change and will continue changing in the years to come. But for now, let's focus on the present.

This blog, Artsy Peacock, will be a recollection of memories. It will be my "journey of life", so to speak. Today, I will be continuing that journey. From this moment forward, it will be an adventure that you can join me on through my photos and words. It may take me a while to get back into the swing of things, but rest assured, I will try my best.

Thank you for sticking with me all this time.

j.j.