go easy on yourself.

We live in a society where everyone is always making progress. Everyone is always trying to climb a ladder, whether that be at a job or at school. There are always more things to do, more people to meet, more money to make. Sometimes, we forget to s l o w  d o w n. We get caught up in this rat race called life where we are expected to give our all, all of the time.

I'm a little tired of this. I'm tired of worrying every day whether I'm doing enough. I'm tired of comparing my work to others. I'm tired of always being tired.

It's a work in progress, but I'm slowly learning how to go easy on myself. Before, I would always want to make everything 100% perfect. I realized that it's impossible to do that all of the time without burning out. I would rather produce quality work, foster meaningful relationships, and go at my own pace rather than spread myself out too thin and try to appeal to everyone.

Although it may feel like everyone knows what they're doing, but the truth is, nobody knows what they're doing. It's just an act that we are forced to put on because otherwise, we'll be looked down on as a failure. At first, it will be difficult to be ok with not trying to play catch-up. However, over time, you'll come to learn that everything will work out in the end.

j.j.

being bold

Recently, I hung out with someone that I met from an organization in college. It was a really spontaneous thing for the both of us. I didn't know him before joining the organization but I just thought his vibes were very good and that I wanted to know him better. I'm glad that I decided to meet up with him because we had some really deep conversations about everything and anything.

One thing about our conversations stuck out in particular. He asked me what I wanted to do in the future, which is a typical thing to ask someone in college. I said my usual response: "I don't know, maybe go to grad school? Maybe teach English abroad for a year and find a job at a PR agency? I'm not sure yet." And then I added, "And someday in the future, maybe start my own business?" I always forget to add that part but I remembered that day. He seemed intrigued and asked what business I would start. I said, "I don't know, skincare?" And then I quickly added that I wouldn't be doing this until much later down the line because then I'd have experience and the capital to do so. He then went on to say that I could start now.

He said, "Think about it. Now's the best time to start your own business. You have so many connections that can help you. Sure, you don't have the money right now, but in the future, what if you won't have the time?" I guess that got me thinking because he did have a good point. However, despite seeing some of my peers start their own online stores, it still intimidates me. I'm not really the type of person to put myself out there in a way that puts me in a vulnerable position. I'm not the type of person to take risks.

But maybe I should. Perhaps I can start by being bold. I can try something that will take me out of my comfort zone, bit by bit. Only then can I truly figure out what I want to do in the future. Only then can I start to learn more about myself.

j.j.

Finding my purpose in life. [ikigai]

I was inspired by my friend Yvan Chu to make this “recap” of my year and to seek out ways to constantly improve myself. I hope that by writing this recap, I will find that surge of motivation that I so desperately need during this time. Despite everything that has happened in 2020, I hope that I can end the year strong.

What I will go over includes (not in any order):

• Health

• Physical

• Mental

• Academics

• School

• Career

• Self-Study

• Extracurricular

• Social

• Friendships

• Relationships

• Money

• Budget

• Job

Thank you for reading. ♡

Health

Physical - This is a bad note to start off on, but for most of January through March, I was sick. I’m pretty sure it was the flu. (I hope it wasn't COVID-19...) It was also my first semester at USC, which made it a bit worse. It made me really sluggish and I didn’t want to exercise. I felt hopeless as I wandered down the aisles of Target with my arms full of cough medicine and Emergen-C. In fact, it was my first time drinking Emergen-C. On the bright side, I liked drinking it.

Improvements to Physical - I will be sure to get the flu shot next fall. I can't afford to be sick again. I believe that this happened freshman year of college too. I can’t believe that I just forgot to get the flu shot. I genuinely don’t know how that happened. I also need to exercise again. I exercised every day last summer, but this year I stopped.

Mental - Being sick also took a giant toll on my mental health. I didn’t have the energy to do most things. Eating/swallowing hurt too. I found joy in calling my mom and Rena when I had the time. Random texts from any of my friends cheered me up, actually. I remember one night I was in my bum outfit walking to Target to buy medicine and I was on the phone with my mom, whining about how sick I felt. I saw some cute flowers on the trees and stopped to take a few pictures to send to her. It made me feel happy. Even though for the most part, I know that I have a generally strong mental state, it felt nice to rely on people sometimes. I have to remember that it’s okay to be helped.

Improvements to Mental - I started learning about manifestation, in addition to getting back into journaling, continuing my physical planner, and continuing with my healing crystals/color therapy.

Academics

School - Maybe because I was sick and didn’t have the energy to focus on anything other than school, but I found that I was actually trying my best and doing well.

Improvements to School - The biggest things that I have to work on are using my time more effectively, to actually reach out to professors/TAs when I need help, and to participate more in class. Too often I find myself putting off work until nighttime and then staying up at late hours working when I could have spread out my work throughout the day. With reaching out to professors/TAs, I need to get my work done ahead of time so that I can actually remember to set aside time to reach out/schedule appointments. As for participation, I actually enjoy participating because it's good speaking practice but at the same time, I feel like my classmates are going to judge me or the professor won't know what I'm talking about and I'll have to reexplain myself many times. I have to get over this fear! And the only way to do that is to participate more. I also planned to study abroad in Australia spring semester but the programs got canceled. However, I am not going to give up my study abroad dreams and I am determined to do so one way or another.

Career - I am still not entirely sure about what I want to do. I have a general idea, yes, but not anything specific. What I know so far is that after I graduate, I want to work in a public relations agency, possibly attend grad school, and in the far, far future, start my own businesses.

Improvements to Career - To get a better picture, I can consult other people that have professional experience, do internships in different fields to see what I like and don't like, and research more career opportunities. Recently, I have been thinking about working at an advertising agency and being a professor. I hope I have a solid plan soon. I know that things are always changing, but when I talk to other people, it seems like they have their lives all figured out while I am still floating around.

Self-Study - I told myself I would self-study Korean and Cantonese. Japanese, even. But no. I should have seen this coming. I even signed up for online courses that I have yet to complete. Besides languages, I want to learn data analytics, entrepreneurship, investing, etc. I think that I have a lot of skills that I want to learn but don't know where to start.

Improvements to Self-Study - In order to actually be motivated and continue with my self-study journey, I should narrow down my focus to learning one language and one skill at a time. That way, I can focus and actually make progress/see results. For now, I will make time to continue to self-study Mandarin Chinese and begin (once again) to learn Korean. As for skills, I might look into a data analytics certification.

Extracurricular - Since transferring to USC in the spring semester, I pledged for an Asian-interest sorority and attended a few club meetings for a Chinese-American organization. During this fall semester, I officially became a member of the sorority! I also tried to join a few other organizations but no luck...Either because I didn't get in, didn't think it was feasible over Zoom, or because I neglected to apply.

Improvements to Extracurricular - Depending on whether next spring semester is hybrid or online (I doubt things will go back to being completely in-person), I will see if I can join at least one more organization. I have one in mind already but I did not apply this fall semester because I stupidly forgot to submit my application form.

Social

Friendships - Jumping from one school to another is bound to put a strain on friendships. I’ve prepared myself for that. I know that the people that I genuinely want to continue being friends with I will put 100% of my effort into keeping. So far, that’s working. I appreciate all of my friends and without them, I wouldn’t have made it this far. I’ve also made new friends along the way and I am thankful for them as well. Thank you for listening to my rants. Thank you for giving me advice. Thank you for hanging out with me. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for taking the time to talk to/message me (even though I’m a bad texter). ♡

Improvements to Friendships - I need to learn to open up more and to disassociate less during conversations. I find that I’m pretty closed off at the start of friendships and that might deter people from getting to know me better. It’s all subconscious. I will find ways to break through that barrier. I also need to disassociate less when people are talking about topics that don’t relate to me, which I actually have been finding luck with lately. I hope that with these improvements, I’ll be able to strengthen current friendships and make new ones! (I will also try harder to respond to messages in a timely manner. Emphasis on try.)

Relationships - I vowed to myself that I would not get into another relationship until I learned to fully love myself. I realize now that being able to “fully love myself” is a long process. However, I’m glad that I decided to focus on myself instead of jumping into another relationship that I wasn’t ready for. Sure, I admit I did think to myself to get a boyfriend already so I can stop feeling “lonely” but I knew that I would be doing nobody a favor there. Also, hookup culture is prominent among college-aged students for a reason, I’ve learned.

Improvements to Relationships - This is hard to say. Right now, I’ve realized that I’m still not ready for a relationship. At least not anything that’s long-term. I’m young! I need the most time I can get to work on improving myself and figuring out what I like and don’t like! I’ll have time for serious relationships when I’m older. Besides, I am very busy with school and personal goals.

Money

Budget - I tried to keep a budget but I keep failing to update it.

Improvements to Budget - Legitimately stick to a budget...Look up YouTube videos on how to keep a basic budget and make a savings goal.

Job? - Since I'm in Los Angeles for school right now, I don't feel comfortable doing a non-remote or off-campus job. I applied to work at the library but they have yet to contact me...I really want a job because I want to start making my own money instead of always relying on my parents. I currently teach English to children but that's only once a week for one hour so I'm not counting that as a job. I'm also starting an internship for my Chinese internship class and I am pretty intimidated. But I hope that I can learn a lot and try my best with the assignments.

Improvements to Job - Get a job. Apply to more remote jobs...Continue the search for internships as well. If I continue to live in LA for the spring semester, I might consider a non-remote job if I can't find a remote one.

Summary

Overall, I'd say that the year was a transitional one for me because I went from living in Wisconsin to LA. Academics and social were the strongest areas for me while I fell short with health and money. With the remaining months of 2020, I will do my best to improve myself in all areas. Writing down how I feel about my progress makes it tangible and clear to see what next steps I should take. It's only up from here!

j.j.

quarantine

It would be silly for me to not address the current situation: COVID-19. This spring semester was my first semester at USC as a sophomore (will elaborate more in another post) and I was really excited! However, everyone had to leave campus around two and a half months early from the semester ending due to COVID-19. We started taking online Zoom classes and it was clear to see that we wouldn't be going back to school. I was a bit bummed because it was my first semester but at the same time, I missed home and wanted to go back. Everything happened really suddenly. Soon, social distancing and quarantine started to take place and more people in the United States started to take the pandemic more seriously. (I think that it was a problem that the United States did not take precautions earlier. Everyone here also values individuality, so it's difficult to place a mandatory quarantine on people. If everyone took it seriously and actually stayed home, we could probably flatten the curve faster.) That aside, I actually enjoy the quarantine life. But I do admit that I could be doing more in the day other than sleeping, eating, going on my phone, going on the Internet, watching YouTube videos, watching Chinese and Korean dramas, and cleaning/organizing my room. From now on, I want to dedicate more time to writing blog posts, reading books, learning to cook, practicing ukulele, and learning languages. With all this extra time given to us, we should be doing things to better ourselves! It's hard to do that and not just laze around, but I am willing to work harder at self-improvement and my goals day by day.

j.j.

2020 maintenance

With the start of a new decade, it's important to enter it with a positive mindset. I've decided to further work on my resolutions from 2019. But instead of calling them "resolutions," I think "maintenance" is a better word to describe these goals because they are all things that I should be doing on a day-to-day basis in order to improve myself as a person. Without further ado, here is my 2020 New Year's Maintenance List.

1. HEALTH

• Do your basic skincare routine twice a day
• Basic but essential reminders to do even when you're tired and just want to sleep: shower every morning, brush and floss twice a day
• At least 1 face mask/eye patch a week
• Sunscreen!!
• Sleep!! + Proper sleep schedule
• Goal weight: 108 lbs
• Reach before 21st birthday
• Maintain goal weight
• Exercise at least one day a week
• Only eat when you're hungry
• Don't eat past 8 pm
• Drink 64 oz of water a day

2. ACADEMICS

• Try to figure out major/minors
• Maintain good grades/stay on top of deadlines so that there isn't a scramble at the end
• Prevent burn out toward the middle-end of semesters
• Be on time to your first class every day
• Be communicative with professors and TAs

3. MONEY

• Maintain monthly budget sheet for all expenses
• Stay under $300/month

4. HAPPINESS

• Journal + tea every morning
• At least 1 blog post a week
• Read 1 book a month
• Learn 1 new skill
• Travel to/internship in China, Canada, New York, Illinois, different parts of California, etc.

Let's motivate each other and make 2020 the best year yet.

j.j.

[new blog template!]

time

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about time. It seems to pass by so quickly, especially the older you get. And that scares me. College is definitely passing by quicker than high school. I think it's because college is way more enjoyable for me. But that also makes me think about how I choose to spend my time. A lot of the times, I find myself "not having time" to do this or that because I choose to allocate my time elsewhere, such as catching up on sleep or just being by myself with my thoughts for a small portion of the day so that I can focus on myself. I've learned that I need to do this in order to re-center myself and also to prevent myself from going insane. Even taking some time to write a blog post helps me to keep chugging along. It may take away from my overall time to get assignments done or to socialize with friends and family, but I know that it's worth it because spending time with myself allows me to feel reenergized and overall betters me as a person.

So, no, I do not think that "self-care" is a myth. I do think, however, that the line between excessive self-care/avoiding responsibilities and actual, much-needed self-care is blurry. But over the years I've grown to distinguish the two from each other. (I will make a blog post about how I've learned to differentiate the two. It's hard, and I'm still learning, but I want to share what I know so far.)

Even though time is passing quicker than ever and I know that there is no way to stop it, the best advice I can give is to spend some parts of every day doing something enjoyable, doing something that you wholeheartedly want to put time into, even if it's for a little bit. When I do something I love, I don't even realize that time is passing. And I think that's really special. For instance, when I was younger, I would read books and write stories and poems for hours on end every single day. I realized that as I grew older, that special feeling slowly disappeared as I had to deal with more responsibilities. But ever since discovering that same feeling again, I've noticed that I can once again recapture the feeling that even though everything around me is a blur of movement, I can stop and rest for a moment.

j.j.

identity

Reading back on my old writing or anything that I have done in the past really does make me cringe. But it is also insightful to do so from time to time because you can see all of the changes and progress that you've made. Growing up in a time period where social media is so prevalent is amazing yet difficult at the same time. On the one hand, I want to include the use of social media with my career in the future, yet on the other hand, I know that people can get so caught up with social media. I think that people my age, those of us who have grown up with the Internet, are not realizing their full identities. I watched a YouTube video about a girl who took a 30-day break from social media and afterward she explained what she realized. I agree with everything that she said. When we are scrolling mindlessly on social media sites and getting bombarded with images of people who are more successful than us or prettier than us or have more money than us and are using certain products which will guarantee YOU to have the same results and be like them, our real identities are being chipped away at and being replaced, instead, by these images and messages. I realized that since being on social media, some parts of my identity have definitely been influenced by certain people or trends on social media. In a way, when looking back at my old writing and cringing, it gives me back a sense of self that I had lost. Even though I had deleted all of my old posts when this blog was still named Artsy Peacock and I was still a pre-teen without a stress in the world, I promise to myself that I won't do that again. I want to be able to read what I wrote before and see how I have changed. I want to document me finding my identity once again. I think that was also a reason as to why I decided to return to blogging. Subconsciously, I knew that I needed to be back to my little corner of the Internet where I could freely express my thoughts and collect pieces of my lost identity that I desperately need back.

j.j.

vision

For the past few days, I've been thinking about how to start blogging again. I kept running ideas through my mind about what to do. Perhaps a new blog design would help motivate me. Maybe sitting down and formulating a complete niche and exclusively categorical brand would help. But then I realized that for me at least, blogging isn't about having some sort of grand master plan. I started as a kid who wanted to write and wanted a virtual platform to do it on. That's it. I have decided to go back to my roots and simply write again. I think that by doing this, it'll help with my sanity and continue progressing my writing skills. No matter how busy I am, it's comforting to know that I will always return to my little corner of the Internet to share my thoughts and hopefully inspire a few people along the way. That was my original intent with blogging and still is. And I don't ever want to lose sight of that.

j.j.

transferring colleges

It's okay to want to transfer colleges. If you are not happy with the selection that you've made, you don't have to stay there. Even though I am grateful for the people that I've met during my freshman year of college, I still feel the need to transfer. When deciding whether or not to transfer, don't base your decision on the people that you've met. You're going to meet great people regardless of which college you attend. Instead, focus on the classes, the environment, and your gut feeling. For me, I thought that the classes at my college were not rigorous enough and it reminded me too much of high school. The environment reminded me of high school too. I felt like nobody was very social, everyone kept to themselves, and the student population was very small too. I kept seeing the same people every day but there was not any interaction happening. I also went with my gut feeling. I've learned that your gut feeling is usually correct. If you wake up and are not excited, if you get done with classes and feel unmotivated, and if you sit in your dorm with nothing to do besides homework, then these may be telltale signs that you are not at the right place. After spending a semester at my current college, I've gained enough experience to know that my heart doesn't belong here.

j.j.

updates (no. 2)

-I finished my first semester of freshman year and I am two weeks into my second.
-I am in the process of transferring colleges. Stressful. But I can do it.
-There's always time to improve.
-I find that I stress out a lot and I am trying to work on being less stressed and happier.
-Don't be so hard on yourself.
-People come and go. True friends will stay with you.

Happy 2019. There's been a lot on my mind and I can't wait to continue sharing my thoughts in this little corner of inspiration.

j.j.

updates (no. 1)

-Tomorrow, I leave for college.
-I'm a bit excited, but mostly nervous.
-Still not done packing.
-I got two cartilage piercings and three more lobe piercings.
-I bought a custom domain for this blog!
-Which is a promise to myself to dedicate more time and effort into this space.
-I have been going to hot yoga classes and even though it is really tiring sometimes, I love it!
-I just want to leave a bit of advice here: It's okay to not know your path. Even though others might seem to have their entire lives laid out in front of them, that is their life. Not yours. So there is no need to compare or rush into making any life decisions. Take life step by step. I admit that I stress about my future too much. I keep worrying about what the future holds and how I will make my life meaningful/live it the way I want to. But remember, a lot of people around you are going through the same confusion. You live life by experiencing it. Instead of worrying too much about every little thing, try to enjoy life and grow along the way. We can do this.

j.j.

it is okay to say no.

During my freshman year of high school, I was participating in many clubs and after school activities. Truth be told, I felt overwhelmed by all of the extracurriculars that I was taking on. Slowly, over the following three years, I dropped the activities that I didn't find as important or interesting to me. Those decisions massively helped my mental health and allowed me to focus more on academics and spending time with myself.

However, recently, when applying to colleges and scholarships, I felt like I was lacking in the activities department. Even though I know that I participate in many things, I felt like it wasn't enough. I felt like other people were doing so much more than me while I wasn't making any progress. I always hesitate to describe myself as "hardworking" or "productive" or "well-rounded" because personally, I feel like I am always lacking in some area.

But I have to teach myself that not participating in everything is okay.

It is okay to give yourself what you want.

It is okay to take a break.

It is okay to say no.


Not getting involved in as many extracurriculars as other people is okay.

j.j.

rebranding

I've been thinking about changing Artsy Peacock to deartomysoul for quite some time now. Back in 2011, the blog name Artsy Peacock really suited my character: a creative 11-year-old expressing her ideas on a blogging platform. But now that I'm 18, even though I've archived my old posts and gone in a new direction with this blog, the one thing that I stuck with was the name. It's time for a change. I think it is only right for my blog to grow alongside me.

j.j.

[let's make it another 7 years.]

overflowing bottle

I hate being a teenager. I remember the day I turned twelve. It's a memory that sticks out to me because I was crying so much that day. Maybe there was a fluctuation with my hormones or something, but I just remember crying and crying. Now, I am eighteen. And I still cry. But I cry to myself. I don't want others to see my emotions. I've written so many posts in the past (when I still had my old blog posts up) about keeping all of my emotions bottled up inside and not opening up to anyone. Unfortunately, not much has changed. I am still struggling to find a way to deal with my emotions. There are times when you feel so helpless and for the stupidest reasons. I think the problem with me is that I don't want people to see me being helpless, weak, stupid.

Even though the teenage years are necessary for growing up and I am thankful for all of the mistakes I've made, I can't help but think about everything that I have done and haven't done.

But I've learned that it is never good to dwell too much on the past nor the future. One thing that I learned is to be in the present. I used to hardly be present. However, over the years, I gradually changed that habit. If I have a hard time or if I am being anxious or even if I feel like I'm just stuck somewhere, I think about an anchor in my life. The mere thought of my grandmother who is now in heaven watching over me makes me snap back to reality and focus on my goals.

I know that no matter what happens or what ever decision I make, I will always be completely open with someone.

j.j.

going through the motions

One of my biggest fears is living life day by day. I am afraid of falling into a meaningless routine and not working toward my life goals. I admit I have lived out this fear. There have been days where I think, "What is my purpose? Why am I doing these pointless tasks?" as I do homework, study for a test, or even absentmindedly watch YouTube videos on my bed. I compare myself to others who are more motivated and accomplished than me. When I witness what they are doing, I feel like the work that I am doing is worthless. But I have to remember that it's unhealthy to compare myself or envy others. Everyone is at different stages, working toward different goals. Every little thing that I do contributes toward the big picture. Even if I think that a task I am doing is menial, it's not. Each step taken, no matter how big or small, will end up contributing toward my unique purpose.

j.j.

[i'm happy that i decided to stay.]

changing pace

Throughout my entire Blogger journey from 2013 until now, 2018, I have gone through many thought processes about changing my blog for the better. No matter what it is, I am always thinking about ways to change my work for the better. I have reconstructed my blog, made a new blog, deleted that one, came back to this blog, and took many breaks. Many, many breaks. But my intention has always been the same. To make my writing better. To increase my communication skills. To make new connections with people that I would otherwise not have been able to make. Looking into this new year (let's say that January was a trial month), I will continue to make improvements to my blog. The most important aspect of blogging is, well, blogging. No matter how many new designs, sponsored posts, or followers one has, the reason that people create a blog is to write. And that is what I will continue to do. Write.

celebrate small victories

One thing that I've learned about myself is that I have periods of overworking myself and then (longer) periods of pure laziness. And it's quite an issue because it would be better if I could balance the two. It's still in the works. But a way to get myself to do something productive—even for a short period of time—is to treat myself occasionally. Especially if you have a mindset like me, where you think that it's bad that nothing productive is getting done, which only promotes more slumps. But even if you get something accomplished and it has been more than what you've been doing usually, then it is a small victory. It's not a bad thing to pat yourself on the back once in a while. In fact, just the right amount of self-appreciation can boost your confidence and work ethic. However, there can also be a negative side to treating yourself, don't get me wrong. It is definitely possible to treat yourself too much, which produces even more laziness and self-deprecation. But there can be trial and error as long as you find the perfect amount of self-care in terms of work ethic. If you are struggling with productivity as well, I wish the best of luck to you. You can do it.

j.j.

self-image

As it may have been evident, I've taken a long break from blogging. I didn't have any particular reason for doing so. In fact, I didn't even intend to. It just kind of happened. However, during this time I have done a lot of contemplating about things that go on in my life. I hope to use these ideas to make blog posts. Starting with this one. People aren't who they seem to be. I think everyone has an image of themselves in their heads and the people around them perceive them to be different than who they think they are. Perhaps not entirely different, but aspects that are slightly altered. For example, some might think that you are shy and antisocial but in your mind, you are proud of yourself for talking to three people in a day. Everyone in the world will have a different opinion on who you are and what I've learned is to not think too much about what they think. What matters most is who you think you are. Sure, you can certainly take advice from other people. But when it comes down to it, you have to make your own judgments about your own self. Nobody can take responsibility for your actions, appearance, personality, or beliefs. By following your own self-image and working to achieve one that you are satisfied with, you have to be true to yourself and not give in to society or other people's ideal image of you. It may be hard to follow what you want sometimes, but it can be done!

j.j.

...on being sick

Personally, I don't ever realize how grateful I am to be a healthy human being (well, as healthy as I am) until the times that I get sick. When I am sick, I feel sorry for myself and vow that I will do the best I can to take care of myself. But it seems that every time I get over being sick and I am back to my normal self, I forget about what it felt like to feel horrible and I continue to go through life without taking basic precautions, such as wearing the appropriate layers of clothing or getting the right amount of sleep. Today, I did not go to school due to my sickness, and I would just like to record my thoughts so that I can remember them instead of always forgetting how I feel afterward: taking care of yourself should be your first priority. Previously, my priorities were always work and success above all else. But now, I know that health matters the most. Without the ability to take care of oneself, how will other things in life get accomplished? By being in a healthy state—physically and mentally—everything will be able to be completed at a higher productivity rate. When I am an adult, I don't want a messed up sleep routine because I didn't get enough sleep during my teenage years. In a couple of years, the homework assignments that I didn't do won't matter. What matters is the person that I will become. I have to learn that it is okay to sacrifice not doing an assignment for better sleep. It is okay to not go to school for a day in order to re-energize. I would rather take care of myself in the long run than fret about things that won't matter in the future.

j.j.

[happy valentine's day!]

deep & meaningful

An important aspect of life that is often taken for granted is communication. Nowadays, in our society, we talk too much about nothing. (And our complaints...Why that could be a separate blog post!) Rarely do I see conversations that involve a deep exchange of words. Perhaps that's because of the setting that I'm always in; which is high school. But even then, I feel like high school is the prime time to think about the more paragraphical answers to life's questions. At this time, our brains are still developing and with meaningful conversations, it will only increase our growth. Partially, I feel like people are too judgmental. In many instances, I've seen students shorten the length of their answers during class discussions because they want to use up the least amount of air time as possible due to the fear of judgment. And it's clear when that is the case because you can see the critical looks between students when someone might be taking a more extensive route on explaining their answers. There should be no shame in explaining yourself thoroughly! I also believe that society has subconsciously forced us to make everything we do concise and to the point. There's always a shortcut. There's always some way that will get you the most success in the least amount of time. There is always going to be a more efficient way. And maybe that's a good thing in some circumstances. But I do not think that vital human connection should be the shortened version that you take. Today, someone said to me something along the lines of "just go talk to him. If you have all the cheat codes to the game, then what's the point?" And I really took that to heart. There are no cheat codes for simple communication. If you want to talk to someone, then just do it. Don't prepare with conversation starters found online or try to find information about them beforehand. (I'm guilty of both.) Even though communicating is so artificial nowadays, we can try to change that.

j.j.